January 2009
“Play in guts on the cruise,Hermes boat shoes/ Yellow wristwatch, Gucci...”
– Jay-Z- Jigga that Nigga
“thought of you the other day. and thought you should take a break from sleeping...”
– A startlingly accurate note I received from a gal, particularly considering that we probably spent a grand total of about three days together. Miss you too.
“Sex is like money; only too much is enough”
– John Updike, prolific writer, quintessential american, and undisputed genius, who died today at the age of 76.
“Did I disappoint you? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth? You act like you never...”
– U2- One
4 tags
Topical Joke
What do Barack Obama and John F. Kennedy have in common?
Nothing yet.
“You’re very cute, but I can tell you lie a lot.”
– A particularly perceptive girl at Bungalow 8, 1/23/09
“Who you following, who you starting to move like? Who you falling for, who you...”
– Yeah Yeah Yeahs- The Sweets (sorry for the weird anime, it’s the only version I could find)
“We got all night, to set the world right, find us a dream that don’t ask...”
– Neil Diamond- Cracklin’ Rosie
“I may be doing wrong but I’m doing it right”
“When your eyes are closed I hope I’m the man you see, ‘cause if not...”
– N.E.R.D.- The Way She Dances
“Cock your hat- angles are attitude”
– -Sinatra
“Happiness is a good meal, a good cigar, and a good woman. Or a bad woman,...”
– George Burns
“Ladies- my Mercedes- holds four in the back, two if you’re fat”
– Biggie- Nasty Boy (took her to the condo- pronto- half indian, called her Tonto)
Lessons I've Learned The Hard Way, #219-
Anal Sex. Ah, the great taboo. From my experiences, I’ve found the backdoor to be a lot like a roller coaster. Some people need a lot of convincing, particularly for their first time. The experience will be a little startling, yet they’ll want to do it again. And while it can be extremely exhilirating, when something goes wrong, it goes horribly, horribly wrong.
“A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she got...”
– Anthony Jeselnik
Bawdy Joke-
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't come across a boy's face until after he's thirteen
“She never mentions the word addiction, in certain companies. She’ll tell...”
– Black Crowes- She Talks To Angels
“Of all the things that drive men to sea, the most common disaster, I’ve...”
– Charles Johnson- Middle Passage
“We aim high, and then we run out of time”
– Flight of the Concords’ Brett Mckenzie, on their creative process
“I’ve been around, I’ve seen some things, slept in dumpsters, gotten...”
– Kid Rock- Wasting Time
“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in...”
– Bob Dylan
“You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say ‘when’”
– Foo Fighters- Everlong if you’ve never heard this song acoustically, I highly suggest you check out the above link
“my feelings are more important than yours”
– The Strokes- Razorblade
“That nigga you with ain’t shit cause that nigga you with ain’t this”
– Wheezy
“I want love, but it’s impossible. A man like me, so irresponsible.”
– Elton John- I Want Love
